If I was my old usual self, I probably would’ve made a big fuss and drown myself in paranoia upon hearing the Pope’s resignation issue. Maybe I would lock myself in one room, take a few moments of silence, remember how I have lived my life and how sinful I am, and cry my heart out saying that the end is near… worried if I will ever be saved in the upcoming judgment day.

Scaredy-cat

I was raised by a God-fearing family. I grew up as a happy-go-lucky girl, believing that being an obedient and good girl is enough to be saved. I was untroubled and freely going with the flow of life… until two years ago.

I graduated in 2011, and of course, one of the mediums of job hunting is the internet. I had a lot of free time and officially became a resident of the cyber world. I would greet and say goodbye to Mr. Sun sitting in front of my computer. Being a netizen, it’s not impossible to visit unusual pages on the internet. While tumblin,’ I happened to read a post about Angelica Zambrano, the girl who claims to have died for 23 hours, was taken to heaven and hell, and came back with a message.

Read Angelica Zambrano’s story here~

Her testimony is quite a shock to me. After reading the post, fear struck me. How come Pope John Paul II is suffering in hell? I know that heaven and hell are true, but what about her other claims and the people she saw? I didn’t know what to believe and I felt lost after that. I didn’t know what to do. Adding insult to injury, I googled articles about Michael Jackson and the Illuminati. I felt like I couldn’t go back to the way I used to live after learning this new information.

A New Beginning on Father’s Day

Mader Chuki and I~

Out of fear and paranoia, I would always post stuff relating to religion, judgment day, Illuminati, etc. One of my friends from college noticed my posts, and thank God, she invited me to their church. It was the third Sunday of June 2011, and it was also a day for JIL-LB KKBs’ youth service.

I really didn’t know what to expect and what to do, but I still decided to come over. I was hesitant at first (since I’m Catholic, I don’t know if it’s okay for me to come and if I’m even welcome, haha) but there’s something in me that makes me want to go.

It’s Father’s Day. So the topic is about God, being our Heavenly Father. The timing is perfect for me. I felt like it was all planned by God and that He brought me to that church. I lost my dad when I was in second year high school, so I am father-less on Father’s Day. One thing that one of the KKBs told me (that I will never ever forget) is that even if I lost my dad, I still have God. That He is also our Father.

After the service, I still continued to attend their church every time my classmate (Mader Chuki as I call her) invites me. I even belong to their cell group. I felt like something has changed in me, and the fear that I used to have slowly turned into hope and faith. I am probably one of the most cowardly followers of the Lord, and there are still times when fear hunts me. But now I am more confident because I know that He's always beside me. I trust Him completely and I know that He will protect me, and He will fight for me. There is nothing to fear.

There are still a couple of months left, so don’t forget to greet our Heavenly Father a Happy Father’s Day~